The Real Reason You Resent Your Partner with Angie Charter, LCSW
Guest name: Angie Charter, LCSW
Business name: Angie Charter Psychotherapy
Resentment rarely begins with one big moment.
More often, it builds through small, unresolved frustrations that leave one partner feeling unsupported, unseen, or alone in the relationship. What looks like an argument about socks, dishes, intimacy, or parenting responsibilities may actually represent something much deeper.
In this episode, I sit down with Angie Charter, a licensed clinical social worker who serves individuals, couples, adolescents, and families in our local Erie, Colorado community.
With 21 years of experience in psychotherapy and specialized training in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and PACT couples therapy, Angie helps couples understand what is happening beneath the surface of conflict so they can build stronger, healthier relationships.
Together, we explore where resentment comes from, how it shows up in marriage, and what couples can do before it creates a deeper divide.
Angie explains that resentment may feel like anger, but underneath it is often grief, hurt, or disappointment. When couples can identify what they are truly feeling and communicate it vulnerably, they create an opportunity to work through the hurt together.
We also discuss how attachment styles and the nervous system affect conflict. One partner may seek immediate connection and reassurance, while the other needs space and time to regulate. Understanding these differences can help couples stop treating each other like the enemy and begin approaching the problem as a team.
Angie also introduces us to PACT couples therapy, an approach that incorporates attachment theory, nervous-system awareness, face-to-face interaction, and longer sessions to help couples recognize and change the patterns keeping them stuck.
In this episode, we cover:
How small, unresolved frustrations can grow into resentment
Why the surface disagreement is often not the real issue
The grief, hurt, and disappointment underneath resentment
How to recognize and name resentment before it becomes emotional distance
Shifting from “me versus you” to “we versus the problem”
What happens in the brain and nervous system during conflict
The attachment styles described as islands, waves, and anchors
Why one partner may need space while the other needs reassurance
How to pause a disagreement without making your partner feel abandoned
Using eye contact and safe physical touch to reconnect during conflict
Why healthy relationships require repair rather than perfection
What makes PACT different from traditional couples therapy
Prioritizing the marriage as the foundation of the family
What children learn by watching their parents navigate conflict
How shared faith and prayer can support couples through difficult seasons
Why couples don’t need to wait for a crisis before seeking help
When couples can recognize the hurt beneath the anger, communicate more openly, and approach challenges as a team, resentment can become an opportunity for greater understanding, healing, and connection. If you’ve noticed small frustrations beginning to pile up—or you simply want to create a stronger and more secure relationship—this conversation offers practical tools you can begin using right away.
This episode is your reminder that resentment may feel like anger, but underneath it is often grief.